I have recently decided to dread my hair in the next couple of months. My mother who i love dearly completely disagrees. She thinks that they are disgusting, she finds them unappealing, and also believes I will not be able to get a decent job with them.
While yes all of her reasons seem very plausible, I believe they are also very naive.
You see, I believe they are very self expressive, and also show a great deal of self discipline. I like the way they look, and i have known many successful people with dreadlocks.
I have looked up a guide into how to go about breaking the terrible news to my parents that I will no longer have beautiful flowing girly hair, and instead trade that in for a life time worth of teasing and twisting.
I pulled up a website called “How to Convince Your Parents to Let You Get Dreadlocks”
Sounds promising. :)
List 5-7 reasons on why you think you should get dreadlocks:
- I simply love the way they look
- I believe I will keep up with properly maintaing them
- The industry I am working for doesn’t really care what you look like, as long as you have the skill and mind set.
- Due to the fact I am a female, I get looked down upon on jobs in the food industry because a male would suit the position, so they think. I feel dreadlocks will give me more of stronger appearance, i.e. an appearance of being able to hold my own.
- People associate dreads as being dirty and smelly, when in fact, if managed well, can be way more healthier for your hair. “Natural dreads do not require the use of any chemical processes making them better for your scalp than any hair style that requires your hair to be chemically permed or straightened. The residue free soaps that dreadlocks are washed in actually increase hair growth and cause hair to grow thicker and faster by removing residue from the hair follicles.” (Dreadlocks.com)
- If for some reason down the road I no longer care for them, I can just simply cut them out. Yeah I will have short hair for a while. But it will grow, It is just hair we are talking about.
Choose a Time to speak with your parents in a stress-free environment:
Instead of speaking with my parents, because I know they probably will never side with my point of view, I have decided to write this blog explaining why I want them and why they should be okay with my decision. It creates a stress-free environment in the sense that I dont even have to sit face to face with them. They can just read my research and explanation.
State your desire in a matter of fact way and with no emotional attachment:
I believe with me getting dreadlocks, i will be expressing my own individuality. In a way this shows me standing up to peer pressure. By that I mean, I am not wanting to conform to this everyday style of beauty and instead have people like me for my personality and interests. I have no desire to be a super model or a stay at home trophy wife. My life consists of school, work, friend, and art. I can hold my own, and prefer to be a loner. My aspiration in life is not to have a picture perfect family with a husband that has a nine to five job and seven hundred children that want nothing to do with me. I want to see the world, and learn as much as I can. My appearance does not hinder my goals.
Calmly ask why there is an objection if the answer is “No”:
I already know why the answer is and will probably always be NO. I want to tell my parents that I understand it is a drastic thing to just be thrown in your face, but they have to understand my point of view as well.
Remember to explain why dreads are actually a clean hair style:
Top 10 Dreadlocks Rumors Disproved:
- You do not wash dreadlocks- Clean hair dreads faster than dirty hair. When you have dreadlocks you actually want your hair to be cleaner, and you need to use residue free shampoo because it doesn’t leave conditioners in your dreadlocks.
- Dreadlocks are dirty- Only if you don’t wash them, and we went over this in rumor
- Dreadlocks smell- Just like in rumor 2. Only if you don’t wash them, and that’s a big no no.
- Simply not washing your hair will eventually create dreadlocks- When you don’t wash your hair you have extra oils and dirt that actually slow down the dreading process.
- Household items can make dreadlocks (ex. toothpaste, honey, etc.)- Using these items to try and make dreadlocks only makes a mess. You can read all over the internet on dreadlocks message boards that household items are a no no.
- Dreadlocks are for black people- Dreadlocks are for anyone. Dreadlocks are about patience and spirituality, which is in everyone.
- If a person wears dreadlocks they must be a pothead- Not true, a lot of people associate dreadlocks with rastas, who use marijuana in a controlled way. Most people who have dreadlocks do not smoke, they are usually people with a different outlook on life.
- You have to shave your head or use a kit to remove dreadlocks- Not true, removing dreadlocks is hard but it can be done and without the use of expensive products. Dreadlocks can be combed out. They actually have a book on removing dreadlocks at the Dreadlocks Academy.
- Dreadlocks made by backcombing or twisting are not natural- Backcombing and twisting just puts your hair in the state that it can dreadlock faster. The process of making dreadlocks is a natural process of hair matting.
- Dreadlocks have bugs- Not true. In fact I know a lot of people with dreadlocks and none of them have ever had bugs.
Listen to what your parent has to say about dreadlocks, ensuring that you understand their point of view… even if you don’t agree.
Negotiate and compromise your way to “Yes.”:
I understand that it will take more than just me asking a few questions.
Thank your mom/dad for listening to you and giving you the chance to express yourself in a mature way (verbally during the chat and socially with the hairstyle).
Yes! Thank you mother and father for taking the time out of your day to view my thoughts and reasoning. I hope one day you will see things from my point of view and to remember I will always be your little girl whether or not I look the way you want me to.